“A squirrel is worth a thousand words.”
Fully knowing the value of these talented and amazing creatures, do you really need an explanation for this one? No, I thought not!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Insquirrelational Adages #7
Fully knowing the value of these talented and amazing creatures, do you really need an explanation for this one? No, I thought not!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Squirrel-batical
It is with both great excitement and great sadness that I announce Friday will be my last blog posting for an indefinite amount of time. Year after year I’ve applied for grants to support my squirrel research. One of the many valuable lessons I’ve learned from squirrels is persistence pays off (thanks Sammy for keeping up the incessant racket which disturbed me to the point that I got up, went outside to yell at you and thereby escaped the tree that hit the house seconds later). So after decades of hard work I’ll finally receive the funding I need to take squirrelisms to the next level. I know you’ve got three burning questions you want answered.
You’re first question is most obviously: what will I be doing on this squirrel-batical? Well my curious friend, I’ll be traveling the globe, meeting squirrels, listening to their stories, unearthing ancient tales (and maybe ancient tails), and discovering more truths that have been buried like that proverbial nut. I’m also working on a book which will detail this information. Look for it on shelves starting next year. The current working title is, Squirrel Stories: The Truth Behind the Tail. I’ll also be working on a sequel to this book, Catspiracies: What the Feline Doesn’t Want You to Know!
Now to answer your second question, I’m not sure when or if I’ll be returning to blog more squirrelisms. I’m truly grateful for the support that I’ve been shown. Tens of people have shown their appreciation and interest for squirrelism, which is the reason I’m in such a wonderful position to continue this work, receive grants, and have my findings published. We’ll see what the future brings.
And lastly, to satisfy your curiosity and answer your last question: the organization sponsoring my research is RODENT (Really Outrageous Dames Encouraging Neat Things). They’re a great group and I’m grateful they think squirrelisms are neat.
Well that’s the full update and quite literally, all she wrote…
You’re first question is most obviously: what will I be doing on this squirrel-batical? Well my curious friend, I’ll be traveling the globe, meeting squirrels, listening to their stories, unearthing ancient tales (and maybe ancient tails), and discovering more truths that have been buried like that proverbial nut. I’m also working on a book which will detail this information. Look for it on shelves starting next year. The current working title is, Squirrel Stories: The Truth Behind the Tail. I’ll also be working on a sequel to this book, Catspiracies: What the Feline Doesn’t Want You to Know!
Now to answer your second question, I’m not sure when or if I’ll be returning to blog more squirrelisms. I’m truly grateful for the support that I’ve been shown. Tens of people have shown their appreciation and interest for squirrelism, which is the reason I’m in such a wonderful position to continue this work, receive grants, and have my findings published. We’ll see what the future brings.
And lastly, to satisfy your curiosity and answer your last question: the organization sponsoring my research is RODENT (Really Outrageous Dames Encouraging Neat Things). They’re a great group and I’m grateful they think squirrelisms are neat.
Well that’s the full update and quite literally, all she wrote…
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Squirrel-dioms # 13
“The squirrel that broke the camel’s back.”
This phrase comes from the time when camels were used for carrying squirrel troupes across the desert. Those who have been paying attention will remember that squirrels used to be quite active in the circus. These troupes of squirrels would travel from city to city setting up their tents and performing their stunts for mesmerized audiences. In the southeast camels were the main mode of transportation for these groups. They would carry people, squirrels, and some supplies. Because squirrels are so small and light it was common for too many to be packed onto a camel causing an undue stress on the animal. So the next time you think that if you’re tasked with one more burden and you might break, think about getting one of those squirrels off your proverbial back. It’s a squirrel-eat-squirrel world.
This phrase comes from the time when camels were used for carrying squirrel troupes across the desert. Those who have been paying attention will remember that squirrels used to be quite active in the circus. These troupes of squirrels would travel from city to city setting up their tents and performing their stunts for mesmerized audiences. In the southeast camels were the main mode of transportation for these groups. They would carry people, squirrels, and some supplies. Because squirrels are so small and light it was common for too many to be packed onto a camel causing an undue stress on the animal. So the next time you think that if you’re tasked with one more burden and you might break, think about getting one of those squirrels off your proverbial back. It’s a squirrel-eat-squirrel world.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Squirrels to Live By # 9
“If you can’t live with the answer, don’t ask the squirrel”
There once lived a very wise squirrel by the name of Ruffell. People traveled from all over in order to meet the great squirrel and ask for his advice. He often answered people’s questions regarding how to proceed in a difficult situation or how they should resolve a conflict. Ruffell always gave good advice which was certain to benefit everyone, but many times it was harsh and not what the person seeking guidance wanted to hear. One example of this happened to an elderly man who sought the wise squirrel’s help. The man was worried for his sister who had run off with a group of gypsies. Ruffell told the man that just as he does what he chooses, so should he allow this of his sister. The man became outraged, not liking this advice and threw a huge temper tantrum. After this experience, the sage-like squirrel put a sign outside his tree with this phrase on it to warn off those seeking lip service.
There once lived a very wise squirrel by the name of Ruffell. People traveled from all over in order to meet the great squirrel and ask for his advice. He often answered people’s questions regarding how to proceed in a difficult situation or how they should resolve a conflict. Ruffell always gave good advice which was certain to benefit everyone, but many times it was harsh and not what the person seeking guidance wanted to hear. One example of this happened to an elderly man who sought the wise squirrel’s help. The man was worried for his sister who had run off with a group of gypsies. Ruffell told the man that just as he does what he chooses, so should he allow this of his sister. The man became outraged, not liking this advice and threw a huge temper tantrum. After this experience, the sage-like squirrel put a sign outside his tree with this phrase on it to warn off those seeking lip service.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Squirrel-ché # 14
“A tough squirrel to crack.”
As we have previously learned, squirrels were once accomplices to ninjas for their espionage skills. One of the many reasons squirrels were so successful in this role was because their stealth-like movements made them near impossible to catch. However, there are a few instances when a squirrel was caught by the enemy they were hired to spy on for the ninjas. These skillful squirrels were then interrogated to find out who they were working for and why. Is this starting to sound like a James Bond movie? What can I say, art imitates squirrel. Anyway, another reason squirrels were so successful when employed by the ninja was because under no circumstances would the animal divulge their secrets. I guess one could say that unlike some rodents, the squirrel won’t rat others out.
As we have previously learned, squirrels were once accomplices to ninjas for their espionage skills. One of the many reasons squirrels were so successful in this role was because their stealth-like movements made them near impossible to catch. However, there are a few instances when a squirrel was caught by the enemy they were hired to spy on for the ninjas. These skillful squirrels were then interrogated to find out who they were working for and why. Is this starting to sound like a James Bond movie? What can I say, art imitates squirrel. Anyway, another reason squirrels were so successful when employed by the ninja was because under no circumstances would the animal divulge their secrets. I guess one could say that unlike some rodents, the squirrel won’t rat others out.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Squirrel-ché # 13
“Squirrel eat squirrel world”
Cannibal squirrels? Could it be possible? Somewhere in the southern hemisphere there used to be an ancient tribe of squirrels called the Ponce and legend has it they believed heavily in rituals such as chanting, ceremonies, and tree worship. From deciphering their tree drawings it has been determined that on the day of a blue moon a great celebration was held full of these rituals. One included acting out a legendary tale where the big creature, man, breaks into the forest and tries to eat the squirrel. The innocent animal is saved by the moon which renders the man speechless and motionless with its beauty. The first Squirrel Historians who analyzed this story misinterpreted it and published their false findings with the title, “It’s a squirrel eat squirrel world.” I’m here to set the story straight and tell you that dogs may be capable of cannibalism or even people but not the honorable squirrel. May the ghost of the Ponce squirrels finally rest in peace.
Cannibal squirrels? Could it be possible? Somewhere in the southern hemisphere there used to be an ancient tribe of squirrels called the Ponce and legend has it they believed heavily in rituals such as chanting, ceremonies, and tree worship. From deciphering their tree drawings it has been determined that on the day of a blue moon a great celebration was held full of these rituals. One included acting out a legendary tale where the big creature, man, breaks into the forest and tries to eat the squirrel. The innocent animal is saved by the moon which renders the man speechless and motionless with its beauty. The first Squirrel Historians who analyzed this story misinterpreted it and published their false findings with the title, “It’s a squirrel eat squirrel world.” I’m here to set the story straight and tell you that dogs may be capable of cannibalism or even people but not the honorable squirrel. May the ghost of the Ponce squirrels finally rest in peace.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Squirrel-dioms # 12
“The Rolling Squirrels, Gathers No Moss.”
This squirrelism has quite the convoluted history. See if you can keep up on this one. Back in the day, before rock-n-roll was cool, there was a band made up of five musically ambitious squirrels. And, yes, squirrels play music. I’m sure you’ve heard one singing in a tree at some point. And what wonderful voices they are blessed with. Anyway, this group, The Rolling Squirrels had many great hits. The most famous of these songs was “Gathers No Moss,” an amazing ballad that depicts a seasonless world after the loss of a lover’s affection. During the height of this song’s success everywhere people were talking about The Rolling Squirrels’ Gathers No Moss. Unfortunately, the band broke up over a sassy chipmunk whom is credited with inspiring the number one hit song. Apparently, she cheated on the lead singer with the guitarist causing a rift between the two that couldn’t be repaired. Many years have passed and most have forgotten The Rolling Squirrels, and sadly their tribute band has received the fame and the cliché that was truly their’s.
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