“I’d like to be a squirrel on that wall.”
We’ve all heard of ninjas, but the truth behind these mysterious agents is much stranger than most realize. Just as the samurai used the squirrel for their fierceness, the ninja similarly employed the rodent’s talents. Espionage was the principal role of the squirrel when employed with the ninjas. Not many more details are known about this particular history of the squirrel because they were really excellent at their jobs and left no records of this employment. It is even more difficult to corroborate this information with that of the ninja’s history since they are ninjas and have an obscure past. This cliché was only discovered as a squirrelism because of a genealogical account that had been handed down in a squirrel family that is of Japanese decent.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Squirrels to Live By #1
“Don’t judge a squirrel until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”
I know what you’re thinking, squirrels don’t wear shoes, however they used to and boy were they tiny little shoes. The story behind how the squirrel started wearing shoes is full of fantasy, drama, treachery, and dismay. Unfortunately, we really don’t have all the details on the specifics, nor the adequate amount of time or space to share the story. You just need to know that at one point long ago squirrels wore shoes (actually they resembled slippers) and this was during the period that they were trying to get the right to become legal citizens. Like I said before, this is a very strange part of the squirrel’s history and one that cannot fully be addressed in this format. So the shoe wearing squirrel was fighting for rights to become an equal citizen and was constantly under the judgment and scrutiny of others, especially those that were intimidated by their powers. Thankfully there were thoughtful and open-minded individuals that started a campaign and their slogan is where we get this sensible quote which has unfortunately evolved with time. It is regrettable that to this day the squirrel still hasn’t been granted the rights they dearly dreamed to have one day. Alas, the squirrel will live to fight another day!!!
I know what you’re thinking, squirrels don’t wear shoes, however they used to and boy were they tiny little shoes. The story behind how the squirrel started wearing shoes is full of fantasy, drama, treachery, and dismay. Unfortunately, we really don’t have all the details on the specifics, nor the adequate amount of time or space to share the story. You just need to know that at one point long ago squirrels wore shoes (actually they resembled slippers) and this was during the period that they were trying to get the right to become legal citizens. Like I said before, this is a very strange part of the squirrel’s history and one that cannot fully be addressed in this format. So the shoe wearing squirrel was fighting for rights to become an equal citizen and was constantly under the judgment and scrutiny of others, especially those that were intimidated by their powers. Thankfully there were thoughtful and open-minded individuals that started a campaign and their slogan is where we get this sensible quote which has unfortunately evolved with time. It is regrettable that to this day the squirrel still hasn’t been granted the rights they dearly dreamed to have one day. Alas, the squirrel will live to fight another day!!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Insquirrelational Adages #4
“Take time to stop and smell the squirrels.”
Smell squirrels? That sounds crazy right? I’m sure most everyone remembers this quote as referring to smelling roses. Well it does make more sense, which is why this particular cliché evolved. However, back in the day, when a youngster was running around and too distracted to enjoy life they’d be told to, “take time to stop and smell the squirrels.” This phrase came about because a young lad was running to work one day, with his head buried in his history book. Being so distracted he ran straight into an old witch that quite possibly was of foreign decent or drunk. This unfortunate collision caused the mean, old lady to drop her bundle of snake skins and toad livers that she’d just purchased. Apparently, frustrated by the boy’s mistake she cursed him by saying: “haik slim chu swap rand fell duh deferral.” The boy being innocent and naïve thought that the escaped mental patient had just bestowed a great wisdom upon him and he did slow down and with enthusiasm enjoyed the pace of life.
Smell squirrels? That sounds crazy right? I’m sure most everyone remembers this quote as referring to smelling roses. Well it does make more sense, which is why this particular cliché evolved. However, back in the day, when a youngster was running around and too distracted to enjoy life they’d be told to, “take time to stop and smell the squirrels.” This phrase came about because a young lad was running to work one day, with his head buried in his history book. Being so distracted he ran straight into an old witch that quite possibly was of foreign decent or drunk. This unfortunate collision caused the mean, old lady to drop her bundle of snake skins and toad livers that she’d just purchased. Apparently, frustrated by the boy’s mistake she cursed him by saying: “haik slim chu swap rand fell duh deferral.” The boy being innocent and naïve thought that the escaped mental patient had just bestowed a great wisdom upon him and he did slow down and with enthusiasm enjoyed the pace of life.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
A disclaimer regarding squirrelisms
Since I started posting these squirrelisms I've gotten a huge response worldwide. It seems many of you are truly stunned that this history of squirrels has been covered up for so long. I'm glad that the squirrel fir has been lifted from your eyes (I'll explain the true origin of this one later). It is a strange conspiracy aganist squirrels that we may never truly understand.
Some of this expressed interests has been in regards to the research which was conducted to determine the source of clichés and the squirrels that inspired them. Although I'm so honored that many of you are interested in learning more, I do have to include this disclaimer regarding my research:
Disclaimer: It is impossible to be able to provide solid dates for this unearthing of history. This is because most of these squirrelisms were coined prior to recorded history. Moreover, the research that was conducted for the creation of this account was taken from squirrel-lore, which has been handed down from squirrel to squirrel for generations. Although the squirrel is quite an intelligent creature, they are not too accurate with timelines. To further complicate matters, there were some issues with interpretations and therefore details have been filled in using creative leeway. We encourage you to accept this information as true and not to question any of it. Furthermore, we warn you against attempting to do your own research on these matters or trying to verify the accounts stated. Truthfully, a thorough job has been done for you and we squirrel swear that all of this information is true.
Some of this expressed interests has been in regards to the research which was conducted to determine the source of clichés and the squirrels that inspired them. Although I'm so honored that many of you are interested in learning more, I do have to include this disclaimer regarding my research:
Disclaimer: It is impossible to be able to provide solid dates for this unearthing of history. This is because most of these squirrelisms were coined prior to recorded history. Moreover, the research that was conducted for the creation of this account was taken from squirrel-lore, which has been handed down from squirrel to squirrel for generations. Although the squirrel is quite an intelligent creature, they are not too accurate with timelines. To further complicate matters, there were some issues with interpretations and therefore details have been filled in using creative leeway. We encourage you to accept this information as true and not to question any of it. Furthermore, we warn you against attempting to do your own research on these matters or trying to verify the accounts stated. Truthfully, a thorough job has been done for you and we squirrel swear that all of this information is true.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Insquirrelational Adages #3
“When all hope is lost, count your squirrels.”
As we have previously learned, squirrels were once considered to be very lucky (See Insuirrelational Adages #1). The people of this time (which cannot be accurately determined) started to carry squirrels everywhere they went, not just on long journeys. With time, the fortune that squirrels brought to those around them was clearly demonstrated which led to a full out “squirrel craze.” The rich started hoarding as many squirrels as they could put their greedy little hands on, which created a squirrel shortage. Even the poorest of families would sell all their belongings in order to have at least one “family squirrel.” Since the squirrel does in fact bring prosperity, usually these families would experience fortune and be able to purchase more squirrels. Unfortunately, these wonderful creatures cannot protect against all and therefore when a person did experience loss or hardship they were reminded what they should be grateful for: their squirrels.
As we have previously learned, squirrels were once considered to be very lucky (See Insuirrelational Adages #1). The people of this time (which cannot be accurately determined) started to carry squirrels everywhere they went, not just on long journeys. With time, the fortune that squirrels brought to those around them was clearly demonstrated which led to a full out “squirrel craze.” The rich started hoarding as many squirrels as they could put their greedy little hands on, which created a squirrel shortage. Even the poorest of families would sell all their belongings in order to have at least one “family squirrel.” Since the squirrel does in fact bring prosperity, usually these families would experience fortune and be able to purchase more squirrels. Unfortunately, these wonderful creatures cannot protect against all and therefore when a person did experience loss or hardship they were reminded what they should be grateful for: their squirrels.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Insquirrelational Adages #2
“You’re only as strong as your weakest squirrel.”
In the east, squirrels were once revered for their fierceness. Warriors of that time would have a pack of squirrels they’d train for battle. These aggressive packs of rodents would be used to protect the warrior and sometimes even provided an offensive advantage. Through the years, many wars were won and loss based on the strength of the squirrels that fought. This clever squirrelism actually was first spoken as sage-like advice to a nervous samurai warrior prior to a bloody battle. Legend tells that this soldier voiced doubts that he wouldn’t survive because he wasn’t agile enough, equipped with the best armor and weapons, or having the bravery. He was told that these factors weren’t his true assets and in fact it was the strengths of his squirrels which would count most. The warrior did have a great pack of squirrels that fought with ferocity in this battle resulting in an astounding victory that has shaped history as we know it.
In the east, squirrels were once revered for their fierceness. Warriors of that time would have a pack of squirrels they’d train for battle. These aggressive packs of rodents would be used to protect the warrior and sometimes even provided an offensive advantage. Through the years, many wars were won and loss based on the strength of the squirrels that fought. This clever squirrelism actually was first spoken as sage-like advice to a nervous samurai warrior prior to a bloody battle. Legend tells that this soldier voiced doubts that he wouldn’t survive because he wasn’t agile enough, equipped with the best armor and weapons, or having the bravery. He was told that these factors weren’t his true assets and in fact it was the strengths of his squirrels which would count most. The warrior did have a great pack of squirrels that fought with ferocity in this battle resulting in an astounding victory that has shaped history as we know it.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Squirrel-ché #1
"The early squirrel gets the worm."
For those of you that are scratching your head, let me offer an explanation. You've probably heard this "cliché" as: the early bird gets the worm. Nothing could be further from the truth. I know what you're thinking, squirrels don't eat worms. You're right about that, squirrels don't eat worms, but that doesn't mean they can't catch them. Truth is that back before recorded history, the bird and the squirrel used to have a great partnership, which has since dissolved into a bitter rivalry. The bird has always enjoyed the luxury of sleeping late, especially on those dreary and dark mornings. Since the squirrel is always bursting with energy and eager to please he was contracted to wake up early and catch the bird's breakfast. The thoughtful squirrel willingly accepted this offer knowing that one day the bird would reciprocate the kind gestures (unfortunately, the squirrel is also gullible). And so, it is in fact the early squirrel that gets the worm and so sweetly delivers it to the sleepy eyed bird.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
