Friday, February 26, 2010

Insquirrelational Adages #1

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single squirrel."

Traveling was once a dangerous venture which could lead to illness, loss, and very regularly death. Our ancestors believed the squirrel was a creature who brought luck to those around it (which is why people carry around a squirrel’s foot for good fortune), and therefore it became customary to carry a squirrel on long journeys. The blessed squirrel would be packed in the traveler’s rucksack, along with all the supplies for their long expedition. Anyone who has ever traveled with a squirrel will know that their good humor and keen instincts do indeed create the perfect conditions for a joyous voyage. Therefore, as you can see this superstition is one based on truth and hence this very familiar cliché (or rather, squirrel-ché) was coined.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

And so it begins!

Hundreds of years ago when the first nut fell from a tree it was discovered that the nut did not fall alone. Attached to the nut, holding it with all its might was a squirrel that would not release its prize even if it meant falling many feet to the ground and suffering a light blow to the head. Simultaneously, there was a gentleman there that witnessed the event and pontificated in such a way as to commemorate it. We believe his exact words were, "The squirrel doesn't fall far from the tree."

The rediscovery of this bit of history led to more research on the subject. Scientists later discovered that the mischievous, yet shy squirrel was responsible for more than just funny colored spots on the road. It turns out that the cliché (the existence of which cannot be dated back before the squirrels) was actually inspired by the rodent. It seemed that whenever these pesky creatures showed up, individuals were overcome by the desire to characterize the squirrels’ actions in poetic and sometimes philosophic verse.

This is an amazing discovery on the part of literary experts and now it is time to expose the truth to the public. Many of the clichés that we've heard since birth, the ones our mothers spouted and our grandfathers used instead of understandable speech are actually all about squirrels. Through time these clichés evolved from the subject of squirrels to other things that people could more easily relate.

Each day I will reveal to the world the true meaning of one phrase you use all the time and call a cliché, but is actually, in fact, a squirrelisms. The time has come for the squirrel to get the credit that it deserves!!!